I got divorced because of a communication breakdown (that oversimplifies it, really) but I regret it because we were probably still in love when we ended the marriage, which makes it sadder. My advice to you is to pause. Although at the beginning of your relationship you were very loving and attentive, over time you fell into the habit of putting other things first in your life, ahead of your relationship with her (e.g. All they wanted was their family back together. Not knowing all of your circumstances it is hard to say if it is worth staying in your marriage. He may regret how he handled your separation. 5 Ways to Make Your Ex Like You Again Over Text, 3 Reasons Why You Cant Seem to Convince Your Ex to Feel the Same Way You Do. This page may contain links to affiliate partners. If she wants a divorce, do the honourable thing and let her go. Regret cheating on my wife, she wants divorce - Talk About Marriage (12 Things To Do), 50 Funny Jokes To Tell Your Girlfriend That Will Have Her Smiling From Ear To Ear, Copyright A Conscious Rethink. The second core motive behind a husband leaving his wife for someone else is that he no longer loves you. The other is ignoring the constant inner turmoil I felt-I should have investigated and consequently because I did not, stayed too long. (modern). These are the things youll have to consider before you even try to win your husband back. When a man feels like he is to blame for the divorce, he might fall into the trap of thinking of his ex-wife as being a perfect angel who didnt do anything wrong at all. The question is, what are you going to do about it? ", When I got divorced from my wife the hardest part was maintaining contact in order to raise our son. It will be a mistake to think that you can live off alimony and child support until you find a job. But their love is newer and, in some sense, more alluring. All you can do is try to accept the past, and work on yourself so that your decisions are better in the future. ", He made our household an awful place while he tried hard to play out his fantasies of having it all. No one can turn back time and reverse a decision, an action, something you said. This may come down to his reason for leaving you in the first place. Here is another of our articles that goes through the process: How To Forgive Someone: 2 Science-Based Models Of Forgiveness. First, reading this broke my heart and I dont even know him. Dear Abby: My wife cheated on me with 10 different men, now she's homeless You might have tried your hardest to be a good wife, but it might still not have been enough. 2023 Divorced Girl Smiling.All rights reserved. I wondered the same thing after my divorce about finances. He sought to make amends with his ex-wife. And buying into it cost my kids dearly. We all have regrets. My favorite passage reads: "Now, Im thrilled with my life, and I understand that getting divorced sucks, but being divorced can be great. Im such a loserwhy am I like this? "acceptedAnswer": { What It Is Like To Fall In Love After 50? Oh how I longed to hear those words! Other men might soon realize that the grass is not always greener and that they had it pretty good with their wife. One Word That Will Keep You Out of the Garbage Chute.. I am talking to someone who is feeling hopeless with no biblical reason for divorcing; someone who just wants OUT. There are lots of reasons why a person might cheat, but when its a full-on affair outside of a marriage, it boils down to two core motives: Love is a complicated and powerful feeling. So, is it a lose-lose? Its important from the get-go to remember that you do not own your husband and you never did. If he simply fell in love with this other woman, but still loved you at the same time, there is a better chance he will come back. I couldnt shake my desire to have kids and start a Buddhist spiritual practice and lifestyle, and she just couldnt support me in those needs. maintain your confidence around her regardless of her attitude towards you, ease the tension by making her laugh and smile, let her see some of the changes in your behavior and attitude that were lacking in the marriage), so she naturally begins to open up to the idea of getting back together again. When you feel ready, make contact with your wife and start making her feel sexually and romantically attracted to the new and improved you. "name": "Is life outside marriage important? Even if she wanted me back, the truth is, I dont deserve a woman like her. If youve been married and divorced you probably have at least one big regret. 1. 17 Shocking Reasons People Regretted Getting A Divorce - BuzzFeed We drove the knife deeper into our hearts. If you want to stop her in her tracks and get her to turn around and come back into your life, you have to focus on making her feel rushes of sexual and romantic attraction when you interact with her. Yep, you get what you deserve in this life. Full stop.He freely admitted what he did. Is something missing? I cant do anything now. Their house was the one all the kids in the neighborhood came to because they felt welcome there. Do Men Regret Divorce? Do They Regret Leaving Their Family? But now I'm questioning my reasons for wanting a divorce in the first place. People do feel regret over their divorce after investing so much in their marriages, and vowing to be together till death do them apart. My ex-husband cheated on me with multiple women, and there was no going back for me once I found out. Would you want him back if neither of you still loved each other and you knew it was going to take a whole lot of work and time to get that love back? My friends from high school (were 58 now), Ill call them Rich and Jan, got married in their mid-twenties. The divorce process was hell on earth. Do you just hate the idea of being divorced and lonely? "I feel like if I had let my reasons for leaving be the reason I leftinstead of someone elsemaybe we could still be friends these three years later. This comes back to respecting his decision and not alienating him by fighting with him about it. Or let's say you regret hurting him. She will rationalize the divorce as something that needed to happen, so you would change and become the man you are today. We begin to experience regret as early as around the age of two as we think about how things would have been better if only we had acted in a different way. So making big promises of how you can change is not a productive way to approach winning your husband back. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Accessibility Statement, 4 Myths About Cheating That Women Cling To. I was decisive; found a good attorney; a good therapist; set realistic expectations to the end result; educated myself; got a good job; got everything financially I wanted. Just remember: When you meet up with her, you must be ready to say and do the types of things that will reawaken her sexual and romantic feelings for you (e.g. I agree with you that self forgiveness is something this man needs. Our readers share their stories of life after the heartbreak of divorce.