"How are you getting along with the girls now?" The patient mumbled, "Are my testicles black?" The rabbit said no so the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit. * Give me some powder, Im hot! Laughter is the best medicine, after all! Geppetto suggests that Pinocchio apply a little bit of sandpaper to his privates prior to the in. If not, they get sent to Hell. Jesus thinks this sounds simple enough, and he agrees. Now, it has been fun so far but she has started to complain about splinters. 33. Pinocchio:" i love you"! Im not going to lie, his jokes were a little wooden. Clothes getting wet and you just thinking about sex! Whether you're looking to make your guy friend (or boyfriend!) "Last comes out Pinocchio, angrily he says: "Damn! Voldemort: So I just have to lie? After engaging in the delights of the park, Pinocchio and his new friend Candlewick are transformed into donkeys. Jesus peered at the old man and asked, " What was it you did for a living?" Seeing as how "Pinocchio" takes place in the 1800s, this means Jiminy is well over 200 years old. OK." So Jesus waited at the gates while St. Peter went off on his errand. The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. so Jesus takes his place. Mickey Mouse: A narwhal, Pinocchio was my favorite lover Always effervescent 8. Yo mama so dirty, her perfume is roach spray. Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?. lets make love today Because every time she gets to sixty nine she gets a frog in her throat. Short Dirty Jokes at Jokes.Net How did Pinocchio figure out he was made of wood? She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming, "Lie to me, Pinocchio! The old man replies "I'm waiting for my son, he should be along soon." Dirty Jokes: Pinnochio had been g Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a little stroll in town one afternoon enjoying the sunshine. One day, a space ship landed in a farmers field and a Martian man and his wife got out and introduced themselves to the farmer and his wife. Finally, she slipped by her youngest daughters room where she didnt hear a peep, but she thought nothing of it. "Every time we make love, I get splinters." The 2022 Disney-produced live-action "Pinocchio" earned a PG rating, meaning that it's friendly to families and palatable to all but the youngest of children who might take issue with some of the more frightening and distressing moments of the film when Pinocchio or Geppetto find themselves in extreme danger. She said what big ears you have and he says the better to hear you with & he runs off 34. The following week when Steve's buddies arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Steve. Doctor: You got two different testicles. The original story: The original story was called the Adventures of Pinocchio and it was written by Carlo Collodi. 31. Pinocchio: Yep How did Pinocchio discover he was made of wood? 22. Pinocchio (1940 film): Pinocchio is a 1940 American animated musical fantasy drama film produced by Walt Disney Productions and based on the 1883 Italian children's novel The . One of those risque green jokes dedicated to those less gifted with tongues. Geppetto shifts from warm to cold so fast that it's baffling. He said I love you. ? My name isn't Sully, but you can still be my Boo. Sit on my face and I'll tell you some lies. She knocks on the door, but all she hears is screams. Beano Jokes Team Last Updated: September 7th 2022 If you love classic Disney, the newer live action film with Tom Hanks as Geppetto (or the works of 19th Century Author Carlo Collodi) then you'll love being strung along by our hilarious Pinocchio Jokes! "Sandpaper," said the carpenter. What does Pinocchio say when he accidentally tells a lie? He goes on to explain that he's in the contemporary age, telling the story of Pinocchio and Geppetto as if it happened in the distant past. because everyone wanted "no strings attatched". More jokes about: dirty, family, life, sex A Male patient just recovered successfully from a sex threatening health attack. The authentic Christmas spirit Calm down man! St. Peter tells him it's easy, just look up the name in The Book and pass judgement, and that Jes. Cookies help us deliver our Services. he asked. * Well, go home, your wife has started without you. If it is that Why do you say anything, Manolo, 3. A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, saying "Lie to me!" Find Jokes at Jokes.Net Jokes Directory . He doesn't even walk Pinocchio to school or let the teacher know that they'll have a new student. . The next morning in the kitchen, after the husbands had gone out, the woman asked her eldest daughter about last nights noises. At its core, Disney's Pinocchio is a moral parable encouraging boys to behave, to ignore the supposedly "sinful" temptations of the world, and to tell the truth lest their noses . From its origins as an 19th century Italian novel through to its many adaptations for cinema and television, including Disney's monumentally popular 1940 animated version and the studio's 2022 live-action remake of that cartoon, "Pinocchio" is the alternately gentle and harrowing story of the titular character, a marionette-turned-human who endures a series of nightmarish trials to learn how the world works, and his personal moral code as he does, all of it a corollary for growing up. Minnie told Mickey she wanted a divorce. A few weeks later the carpenter bumped into Pinocchio again. Two different testicles What do you call an old man with a Pinocchio fetish? * Well, not really. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the drivers seat looking out the window. I saw Pinocchio do stand-up at a comedy club last night. blush, giggle, or just downright uncomfortable, we've got you covered. You don't need a spoonful of sugar to make me go down.