Custom and user added quotes with pictures. Share with your friends. [CDATA[ The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Deal with it.3.Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that.4.Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.5.A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.6.Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.7.The caterpillar does all the work, but thebutterflygets all the publicity.8.Never argue with an idiot. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesnt want you to do. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You know an odd feeling? I think people should be allowed to do what they want. Happy 60th Birthday filled with lot of happiness and joy! May your smile get brighter with each passing year. "Democracy Now!" with Amy Goodman, www.democracynow.org. Carlin is well-known for pivoting from a strait-laced, suit-and-tie approach to standup in the late 1960s and early . //]]>, by Quotezine Team November 3, 2013, 10:53 pm. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders. The Kennedy Center posthumously awarded this year's Mark Twain Prize for American Humor to George Carlin. However, he is mostly known for his dark comedy that sheds light on a variety of subjects like politics, psychology, taboo subjects, religion and the English language. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. George Carlin, Brain Droppings. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Don't look for it. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. There's no present. 60+ Hilarious George Carlin Quotes and Jokes | Thought Catalog TV Special, www.imdb.com. What does it mean to pre-board? They should be giving their money to you.39.I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.". Have you ever noticed that the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving problems is to declare war on it? It is time to party! We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. - George Carlin. 1999. One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like. 70+ George Carlin Quotes About the Crazy World We Live in A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Took some time to get there, but it's absolutely amazing once you arrive. Don't bother what anybody else has to say, you have changed my life and I will never forget that. Lets be honest: the man was whip smart and about as funny as you could get. There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, Hyperion. Happy Birthday! More, by Quotezine Team April 5, 2018, 5:42 pm, Do that every single day, and soon you have a wall, In this video, Will Smith delivers an inspiring speechdiscussing a lesson he learned while working for his fathers construction business. If youre born in America you get a front row seat.23.Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.24.I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. . You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Happy 60th Birthday! If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him. Birthday Quotes - BrainyQuote. "The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves.". Showing search results for "George Carlin Birthday" sorted by relevance. And he always had a knack for packaging bigideas into small digestible pieces of humor. I don't give a shit! Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. "Life Is Worth Losing". Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar., I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. To my way of thinking, there is every bit as much evidence for the existence of UFOs as there is for the existence of God. And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. What started as a bad first impression, became an invitation to join the football team, and a mentor who would impact his life forever. Im just kidding. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.35.By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.36.How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette?37.Religion is just mind control.38.Dont give your money to the church. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh. Thank you! You know why? I liked the radio comedians. George Carlin 60th Birthday Jokes - Search Quotes Don't forget to confirm subscription in your email. May you have a delicious and partylicious birthday! tags: humor , sci-fi , sleep. 86 Copy quote. If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him. I will never be able to forget the support that you have given me. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. George Carlin William Butler Yeats: "From our birthday, until we die, / Is but the winking of an eye." Plato: "Old age: A great sense of calm and freedom. Funny, Sarcastic, Witty. Electricity is really just organized lightning. by David Sable, www.huffingtonpost.com. BrainyQuote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. ("naturalWidth"in a&&"naturalHeight"in a))return{};for(var c=0;a=d[c];++c){var e=a.getAttribute("pagespeed_url_hash");e&&(! George Carlin. Afterward he met with 100 donors, not campaign donors, heart donors. If it makes you feel better, fine. The planet is fine . Some are funny, some are insightful, but they're all packed with his typical brutal honesty. 500 matching entries found. Thats the problem.19.We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.20.The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.21.Although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me., 22.When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. Whats the matter with you? Happy Birthday, my sugar lumps! Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. //What George Carlin Believed About Religion