", A woman was in bed having s** with her husband's friend, when all of a sudden the telephone rings, she answers. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh. A noise on roof wakes her up. Stalin responds: "Don't worry, Vladimir Ilyich. Whenever I see the maps at the back of the bible, I get confused. Worry. Top 10 Christian Jokes: Clean Humor For A Good Laugh - GodTube My church held a work day, including digging holes for a garden plot. It may interest you to know that right now, there is a supper planned to raise money to buy more seats. Some men are just checking livescores. Remember, there are 22 books of the Bible lurking somewhere in this paragraph. 10. Who was the worlds first comedian? Q: How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman? A. The best way to relax, Where theres smoke theres pollution, Happy the bride who gets all the presents, Twos company, threes the Musketeers, Dont put off till tomorrow what you put on to go to bed, Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you have to blow your nose, Children should be seen and not spanked or grounded, If at first you dont succeed get new batteries, You get out of something what you see pictured on the box, When the blind leadeth the blind get out of the way. I said "Oh yeah of course. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. So he stabs her and steals her TV. Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray, the priest said. 3. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. Thats because it belongs to her. Q: Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible? Q. Her: "Awesome! Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? Worry is like racing the engine of an automobile without letting in the clutch. I once made a remark about the hidden books of the Bible. While we worry about how fast we grow, God is concerned about how strong we grow. Q: Why cant you take a turkey to church? ", The man says: "I'm so tired from working, I wish I could get a day off." Who was the shortest man in the Bible? I was told in Sunday school that radio started in the Garden of Eden. Nowadays, before people share their problems with me, I list out all my own. Chari! A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. Why didnt Noah go fishing? I prayed and trusted you would save me., God said, Well, I sent you two boats and a helicopter., 3. Empty except for dirt and two broken pine needles. Funny Christian Jokes #3 One Christmas morning a man called a taxi company & complained that a cab he ordered to take him to the airport had not arrived. Now, well take the collection and see which one Ill deliver.. Hey, fellas, he interrupted. One night, several families came down to dinner, I had someone behind me say, My water broke. I looked around nervously. 50 Best Christian Jokes of all Time - How to Make Heaven! In 2020, he won First Prize for Best Feature Story in a regional contest by the Colorado Press Association Network. Dear Mom and Dad, Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. If you have toasted over twenty-five girls and they did not agree, its a clear sign that womanizing is not your calling. The only thing left is the donuts., 5. Preacher Simmons says things are getting better because hes getting much better buttons in the collection. 42 Clean Christian Jokes That Will Make You Laugh In A Positively Spiritual Way By January Nelson , March 30th 2018 Flag https://thoughtcatalog.com/?p=859057 Ben White 1. I, as tester of food, got half price on my cruise tickets for my services. But why would I worry about pi on my cake day? ? is what she actually wrote. A man goes out ice fishing one morning. The bartender says, What is this, a joke?. Everyone looked at her. Why Did Jesus Give Believers the Beatitudes? So he sat down and wrote the following reply: I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take pleasure in informing you that the B.C. is located nine miles north of the campsite and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the childs shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring. Relax now, for there really are sixteen names of books of the Bible in this paragraph. I have answered that to help clear you well. Unless otherwise noted, the stories in Funny Church Leader Stories and Funny Church Kid Stories are my own. He's playing pool with you. Everyone was curious because he only asked to meet his doctor and his lawyer. Those are just contractions. Shu, an Egyptian god of the air, was up in arms over smog in Cairo. A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners. Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus time? 2. Because then you dont have to steal from people., 9. Priest: Certainly not- return it to the man whom you stole it from. The woman replies: "I'm a light bulb." For more Christian jokes you might want to look at some Christian Jokes Christian, jokes, and laughter are a perfect combination. What are we going to do?" I will quickly admit it usually takes a minister to find one of them, and there will be loud lamentations when it is found. Either you will get well or you will die. Christian Williams: Kitty's Light can bring more cheer amid daughter's After the elder spoke, the bald pastor started to speak. Ahoy, Chari! Q. ", A man went on a nature walk. Couldn't! What exactly was he doing? One particular book was about Jere, MIA. The barber says "I do not charge men of faith." The next day the priest leaves twelve eggs in front of the barbershop as thanks. No, said the shaky girl, but Ive heard about you in Sunday School!. I dare you to do it again!. He went missing about 586 BC. 36. The pastor cleared his throat as he approached the pulpit. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Enter Your Email to get new Updates Sent to YOU once they are posted! Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. You know God's coming back!". 2. "And if I had all the drink in the world," he said with humility, "I'd take it and throw it into the . No, said the minister. My brother Philipp said he had a revelation and everything will turn out fine in the end.